Lady Hummingbird

We still have one female hummingbird hanging around our feeder station.  She is supposed to be on her way to South America, but I don't think she knows. 

For the past three mornings I have had a chat with her.  With me in my kitchen and she outside the kitchen window, I started by talking plainly and telling her it was time to go.  I explained in a patient tone that soon it was going to be too cold for her to survive.  I told her it was time for her to follow that big hummingbird flyway south.

From the plain and patient tone I went to the logical and emphatic mode.  "You must leave today or you will die."

From logical and emphatic I went to the threatening and demanding mode.  "Look you stupid little dumbingbird,  head on down the road or else!"

I really love the little bird.  I don't want her to die.  It would upset me to find her little body on the lawn one day.  She needs to head to South America.  But do you think she gets the message?  No way!  I have no way to communicate with her.  She simply cannot understand what I am telling her.

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Great God Almighty has a similar problem.  We can't understand Him.  We have a problem and it will bring death.  He loves us and wants us to understand what we have to do, but we cannot hear God's message.  That's why He sent Jesus (His Son) to us in the form of a man. Jesus speaks our language.  We can understand Him.  And now, His church, is charged with sharing Jesus' message that we need to change or we will die.

What do we need to change?  It's that problem we have with wanting to do things our way.  Never minding what God wants, we choose to go our own way and then insist that it has to be ok with God for us to do so.  The only problem is that this is not the way it works.

What does this have to do with my battle with cancer?  Not much, except for this...  I heard Jesus' message and I have accepted his message hook, line, and sinker.  I have accepted him for all he is.  And because of that I now live in a world where I can have cancer, but cancer will never ever have me.  Never, ever!

And that, my friend, is a very bright streetlamp shining on me.

A Prayer Request

Most of you know I developed a blood clot in my lung.  The treatment was to go on a particular blood thinner for 6 mos.  This med is simple to use and effective.  It does not "build up" in the system and is pretty safe.  It's called Lovenox.

A Rx was written to the pharmacy and Susan went down to pick it up.  My co-pay for the generic med was $1,967.00.  Needless to say, the drug was left at the pharmacy.

We checked a mail order pharmacy and found that they had the same co-pay.

We applied to the pharmaceutical company for some assistance and they graciously supplied me with 30 days of meds at no charge.  They are making some inquiries as to why my insurer is not doing any better than this and there is a possibility that they will approve me for assistance and will pick up the entire 6 month regimen.

The alternative is to go on a different blood thinner.

So...  if you, my brothers and sisters, can add this to your prayers I would be grateful.

Do Not Ignore This Post

It is important that you know how my cancer was diagnosed.

Esophageal cancer is fast growing and can be a bit difficult to treat.  No one should ever ignore the warning sign I was experiencing... not even for a day!

When I ate the food would hit something in my esophagus and would get stuck until I drank enough water to wash it down.  A normal supper would see me drinking 36 oz of water to wash my food down.  I had an appointment with my Family Physician in about 5 weeks so I put off doing anything until I spoke with him.

My Family Doctor gave me a referral to a gastroenterologist.  After the initial consultation, the GE scheduled an endoscopy.

The endoscopy consists of the physician sending a tube with a camera down the gullet.  This tube is also capable of taking biopsies, clipping polyps, and stretching enlarged bands. I was expecting to find an enlarged band in the esophagus that my physician would stretch out and that was going to be the end of my problem..

After the endoscopy, we were in a room waiting for the Gastroenterologst to  review his findings with us.  He came in and sat down and I heard him say, "John, it's bad news.  You have cancer."

This was July 18, 2011.  I realize now, that the time I wasted by not immediately contacting my family physician was enough time for the cancer to move from my esophagus into two lymph nodes immediately adjacent to the tumor.  I should not have waited.
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Here is my point.  When you swallow food and it feels like the food is slowing or stopping at a small place in your esophagus, run, do not walk, to your family physician and ask for a referral for a endoscopy.  The test is painless and interesting to watch.  Chances are you'll have band that can be stretched out or some other condition that can be treated immediately.  But if it is cancer, you need to be in treatment ASAP.  Another condition they might find is something called Barrett's Esophagus.

B E is a condition that will be regularly monitored because it is a area on the esophageal wall that is highly prone to develop cancer.

Never ignore a stricture in your esophagus.  They do not go away on their own. You will do yourself a favor by checking it out.  

The Valley

It has been a busy, busy week.

Tuesday saw us in Newport News getting a comparison CT scan for my radiation oncologist.  He needed this to see changes in the tumor compared to CT done in July.  Susan and I were walking out of the imaging lab when the CT tech came running up and asked us to return to the office.  The radiologist wanted to speak wit us before we left.

It seems the CT shows a blood clot in the left, lower lung.  It is a serious development and he wanted me to see my oncologist right away.  My oncologist admitted me to the hospital on Tues for treatment, training and evaluation.  I am now on blood thinner and oxygen therapy and my maintenance drugs have been reevaluated.

Here's the interesting part, the blood clot had previously been diagnosed as non-specific pneumonia and was being treated with antibiotics.  Had the clot remained undetected, it could have been fatal.

How 'bout them apples?!!!   You cannot convince me that I am not in the light and grace of God.
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Just a couple of hours before we left the hospital on Friday, a dear lady was cleaning the room.  I began to talk with her and quickly found out that a revivalist had preached a sermon on the 23rd Psalm and it had deeply affected her.  She told me that the part about walking through the Valley of the Shadow of Death  had particularly touched her.

She further explained that we are God's sheep.  The Valley is really our life.  The Valley may be full of danger, but God's sheep are cared for and are in God's hand.  That's a good place to be.  We absolutely will go through trying and dangerous times but God is there with us and His rod and His staff are sufficient to care for us and comfort us.

I began to see that God sent the revivalist a message that touched a lady who was a hospital cleaning specialist.  He then sent that lady to my room where she shared her message with Susan and I when we most needed a word from the Lord.

Now, I pass the message to you and one or more of you will also be touched.  Please, do not be afraid to share how God has ministered to you.  You never know when your testimony will light up the life of a family battling cancer.  You will replace darkness with light.

That's how these streetlamps work.  They are simple lights, shining in the dark.

Still In the Light

A while back I asked you to pray about my insurer covering a different kind of radiation treatment.  It is called Intensity Modulated Radiation Therapy.  IMRT gives my Radiation Oncologist more flexibility in treating my tumor and allows him to reduce some of the superfluous radiation to non-cancer affected areas.

Monday afternoon, the insurer approved the IMRT.

Thank you for your prayers.  I'm still walking from streetlamp to streetlamp.  Your prayers keep me in the light.

Allow me to sing a song for you.  It's an old song, originally published in 1899.  Lyrics were written by a kindly man named Henry J. Zelley.  It's a song I have sung all my life and it means a lot to me.  I can't record my voice to this blog, so I'll give you the lyrics.  In your mind, crash in the voice of Josh Groban, because that is who I sound like.

Heavenly Sunlight
Walking in sunlight all of my journey,
Over the mountains, through the deep vale;
Jesus has said, I’ll never forsake thee—
Promise divine that never can fail.

• Refrain:
  Heavenly sunlight! Heavenly sunlight!
  Flooding my soul with glory divine;
  Hallelujah! I am rejoicing,
  Singing His praises, Jesus is mine!