TIME With Esophageal Cancer (or without)

Time... the most precious commodity on our balance sheet. It is given to everyone in the same amounts. Some of us use it wisely. Some of us do not. We get it one moment at a time and our goal is to live best and most within that particular moment.

Father God, this Thanksgiving I thank you for the time you have given me with my family and loved ones. To spend Thanksgiving with them was a gift within a gift.  On Black Friday, I will spend time with even more family and loved ones.

I am not simply thankful. I am thanking you as the Giver of Time for your gift to me.

None of us knows the total time we have, but we know the moment in which we live. I choose to live within that moment and enjoy the time I know.

Thank you, Papa.

*********

Diagnosis:                                           Esophageal Cancer,  adeno-carcinoma at the junction  in July 18, 2011
Staged:                                                at 4a just a couple of days later
Chemo Port Installed:                         July 31, 2011  
Began radiation and chemotherapy:   early August 2011 
Esophagus removed:                           Jan. 19, 2012
Surgery Approach:                              Large belly incision to allow access to gall bladder, lymph 
                                                             nodes, esophageal junction with stomach, etc.  Large back 
                                                             incision to allow access to the upper esophagus and lymph  
                                                             nodes through the ribs.   
Hospital Stay:                                      10 days
Feeding tube removed:                       end of Feb/first of March
Life changes:                                       Type 2 diabetes disappeared.      Current weight <200 lbs. (This 
                                                              is a HUGE loss for me.)   Very little stomach remains.  Small 
                                                              meals and many meals.   Dumping Syndrome remains.  (Look 
                                                              it up.)   Weakness.  Some depression.  I have received love I 
                                                              didn't know I had.  God has emptied His blessing bucket on 
                                                              me many times since diagnosis.   

A Thanksgiving Week Update

They gave me a unit of blood the other day.  I have been anemic since beginning therapy and lately I have had no strength and no energy.  It feels like I am wearing a suit made of iron.  Heavy, weighing me down, making movement an effort.  The blood infusion was to give me a bit more energy.  Evidently, there is life in the blood.

This is the first time I have taken blood.  Months ago, when the doctor mentioned the possibility of needing some, I did not know what to think.  To tell you the truth, I was hesitant.  But when the medical team told me this would strengthen me I wanted to do it.  I need more strength.  The treatment improved my mental acuity, but has not yet helped with my energy level.  It appears that exercise is the answer.  Oh well, looks like I'll have to do it the hard way.

The doctor wanted to schedule my next scan for just before Christmas.  The scan will see how this chemo regimen is working.  I asked him to wait just a couple more weeks and do it after the first of the year.  We can celebrate Christmas without the threat of a test hanging over our head.

For now, I take chemo once a week at my infusion clinic.  The drugs are not too bad, but they have a sleepy effect on me.  Thursday's seem to be my worst day.  Oh my, that means Thanksgiving Day will be tough.  But Susan and I get to see our children, grandkids, and my mom on Thursday.   I will not lose that blessing.

My teaching yesterday was that Thankfulness is not the same as Thanksgiving.  Thankfulness is a feeling or an emotion.  Thanksgiving requires you to give thanks to someone.  Leading up to Thursday we will be thanking God because...      We'll do this each morning to remind us that God is the source of all the blessings in our life.   We are also going to give some thought on what to give thanks for at the table on Thursday.

I have to thank God.  I have to give him thanks.  Otherwise, I have lapsed from purposeful Thanksgiving to simple thankfulness.  I shouldn't do that; not on such an important day.
********
Diagnosis:                                           July 18, 2011
Staged:                                                at 4a just a couple of days later
Chemo Port Installed:                         July 31, 2011  
Began radiation and chemotherapy:   early August 2011 
Esophagus removed:                           Jan. 19, 2012
Surgery Approach:                              Large belly incision to allow access to gall bladder, lymph 
                                                             nodes, esophageal junction with stomach, etc.  Large back 
                                                             incision to allow access to the upper esophagus and lymph  
                                                             nodes through the ribs.   
Hospital Stay:                                      10 days
Feeding tube removed:                       end of Feb/first of March
Life changes:                                       Type 2 diabetes disappeared.      Current weight <200 lbs. (This 
                                                              is a HUGE loss for me.)   Very little stomach remains.  Small 
                                                              meals and many meals.   Dumping Syndrome remains.  (Look 
                                                              it up.)   Weakness.  Some depression.  I have received love I 
                                                              didn't know I had.  God has emptied His blessing bucket on 
                                                              me many times since diagnosis.