So Great Is The Love

40-60% suffer from clinical depression

They experience anger,anxiety, sadness, isolation, exhaustion- 

and then have guilt for experiencing these feelings

It is common for them to feel stressed and overwhelmed

Grief and loneliness are common feelings

85% report feelings of resentment

70% say their families are not working well together

54% report they are visiting friends and family less often

35% say they are overwhelmed

46% report inadequate financial resources

These are not the cancer patients.  They are the Caregivers.  Most often they are spouses, children, or siblings.  For many, this is not the first time they have been thrust into this role.  Actually, they are not thrust.  They choose this role.  They do more than feel love.  Caregivers exhibit love.

At the beginning of this blog I promised I would focus on my own experiences.  However, I have no experience as a caregiver.  Susan is my Caregiver.  She drives me to chemotherapy.   She goes with me to the oncologist.  She is there when I am infused with deadly poison and reminds me it is really Pac-Men eating my cancer ghosts.  She kicks my ass when I don't do what the doctor orders.  She loves me unquestionably.  

I need this kind of love.  It is essential to my recovery.  I thank God for Susan's love.

A friend of mine from a support group did not have a Caregiver.  Here is what she says.  "The bottom line,

because I went through this without a partner, is that it's not easy for me to have a lot of empathy for those who did have a partner.  What I'm trying to say is that going through this pretty much alone is tough.  

"Had I had a partner, my four months in the hospital following surgery very likely would've been a couple of weeks instead.  It makes me wonder if people with EC fully appreciate what their journey would be like without a journey mate.  

"Perhaps this is a cancer that no one should endure unless he/she has a partner with whom to face it?"

Caregivers, you are needed.  Susan, I need you.  I love you.  I appreciate you.

I have some advice to give.  You Caregivers are important to us.

To Caregivers:
Take care of yourself.
Sleep, physical exercise, proper nutrition are important.  You will have to excuse yourself from Caregiver duties from time to time to accomplish this.  Have someone you can call in to cover when you feel ready to explode, and go get some exercise.  

Find someone you can talk to, share with, dump on.  Do not go this alone.  If you feel despondency or depression coming on find professional help in addition to your sharing partner.  

Tell the one for whom you are caring how to respond to you when your emotions get the best of you.

There will be times when I do not seem appreciative.  This is not the case.  Remember that sometimes it will be the disease or the chemo talking.  What I say will not always be a reflection of my heart.  While I'm at it, please know I am sorry for failing to show my appreciation and love.  I am sorry I hurt you.

To Others Who Want To Help:
The Caregiver needs as much of your love as the victim.  Be a friend.
Take them out to lunch or to a movie.
Arrange a girl's night out or a guy's night.
If they open up to you keep everything in confidence.
Accept that they may not open up to you.
Grass cutting, gutter cleaning, car washing, occasional meals, oil changes are all appropriate expressions of your support.  Be creative.
Don't wait to be asked.  Be proactive.  Caregivers most often are reluctant to ask for help.
Be someone the Caregiver can call in to cover.
Keep the Caregiver as well as the victim in your prayers.

I end this post with a poem written by a medical professional about a Caregiver.  Caregivers are wonderful.  The author of this poem understands this.

"Doctor, May I Whisper In My Son's Ear?"  

by NAVEEN PEMMARAJU, MD...

He was a champion
In the marathon-sprint of life

A seasoned warrior

Whose last days will be fought in the hospital

Whose last breaths will be made by the machine

The family descended on the floor

And surrounded their son

A twenty-something boy actively dying from metastatic germ cell tumor

As if protecting him from us

The patient's every last crushing harsh breath

His agony, his pain, his misery so evident

Rendering it impossible for his mother to watch any longer

The firm handshake of his tough, dignified father

Who was doing everything in his power to hold his emotions back

The fading smile of his tired mother

The hug of his grandmother

I remember my conversations with his family so well

On the eve of this boy's passing

The day before his cancer would get the best of him

His rugged father pulled me aside, flowing past his son

And asked, “doctor, may I whisper in my son's ears?”

To give him permission to leave this earth

You see, his frail mother had run dry from days of bitter hot tears

I thought about this profound question for a bit

I resolutely, purposefully turned to the stately father

And slowly nodded “yes”

His satisfied smile and sublime look were not as moving to me

As the one small, silent, recalcitrant tear that trickled down his left cheek

Submissions are welcome from oncologists, oncology nurses, and other cancer caregivers. E-mail only, please, to: OT@LWWNY.com, and include affiliation/title, address, and phone number, along with a photo, if available.

© 2010 Lippincott Williams & Wilkins, Inc.

Pac-Man To The Rescue

Oxaliplatin, Levoleucovorin, FU-5, Cisplatin...  These are my libations, my potions, my tie to the apothecary art.   Some enjoy a martini, a beer, or a sippin' whisky; for me it's, "Bartender, a shot of FU-5, please, with an Oxaliplatin mixer."                                         You may recognize these names as chemo-therapy drugs.  If you have fought or are fighting cancer the mere sight of these names may bring a nauseating roll to your insides.  If you are a caretaker, you may grimace as you think about the way this therapy racks your loved one's body.

I have heard many refer to these drugs as dreadful poisons.  I have heard the hateful disdain in the voices of caretakers and cancer patients as they referred to their chemo drugs.  I have felt that way.  And when I am knocked off my feet by the effects of chemo-therapy, I still have trouble thinking kindly about these drugs.  However, the fact is, these drugs are effective at fighting cancer. 

I have a friend whose 19 year old son was diagnosed with lymphoma.   As this young man received his chemo-therapy he used to imagine the chemo was Pac-Man eating away at his cancer ghosts.  What a great analogy!  (This young man is now years older.  Chemo-therapy and a bone marrow transplant brought remission from his lymphoma.)

Anti cancer drugs have hateful side effects.  Some cancer patients have mouths full of sores and heads with patchy hair.  Caretakers look at their weakened, nauseated, loved ones and not only hate the cancer, but also hate the drugs that fight it.  I'm fighting cancer and I have wondered why I felt worse from the drugs than I did from the cancer.

I forget the cancer was stopped before it could hurt and kill me.

I absolutely believe there comes a time when the cancer patient is justified in saying, "Enough.  I've had enough.  It's time to give up the fight."

But that time is  far down the road for most of us.  For many, that day will never come because of remission or cure.  Every one of us needs to stay in our NOW.  We need to receive the blessings of each day as they are given.  In the words of King David, the Psalmist, we need to "taste and see that the Lord is good."

For now, I'm going to be thankful for the little bitty Pac-Men in my system that are eating any cancer ghosts they might find.  I'm also going to pray that cancer treatments might progress beyond the point of oncologists using potent poisons to eradicate cancer cells.

Won't you join me?  Be thankful that Pac-Man is more than just a computer game, that Pac-Man has joined with modern oncology.  Be thankful that oncology has progressed to the point where we have drugs effective against cancer.  This progress has not ceased.  Cancer treatments will continue to improve.  One day we will have cancer-cell-specific treatments for every form of cancer.

Until then, it is Pac-Man to the Rescue.

The Power of Forgiveness

• "I wish to have my family and friends know that I love them.
• I wish to be forgiven for the times I have hurt my family, friends, and others.
• I wish for my family, friends and others know that I forgive them for when they have hurt me in my life.
• I wish my family and friends to know that I do not fear death itself.  I think it is not the end but a new beginning for me.
• I wish for all my family members to make peace with each other before my death, if they can."

(From Five Wishes, a Living Will available from Aging With Dignity. page 9;  A read-only copy can be viewed at   http://www.agingwithdignity.org/forms/5wishes.pdf)

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My wife and I have Living Wills listing our preferences for end stage treatments.  We like the 5 Wishes format.  I was re-reading the 5 Wishes and noticed the bullets listed above.  Do you see the emphasis given to forgiveness?

Why should I wait until the end to forgive and be forgiven?  Why should my loved ones delay forgiveness and reconciliation until I am end stage?  I believe I should begin today to facilitate the spread of forgiveness.

Forgiveness is powerful.  Forgiveness brings peace.  Forgiveness trumps regrets.  There are times when I will not receive forgiveness; I can't do anything about that, but shame on me if I am too stubborn to forgive.

I plan on being around for many more years. I feel like I've been given some extra time. There is no reason for me to expect to be going into end stage anytime soon.    Now that I have this extra time, I will begin right now to forgive, to seek forgiveness, and to encourage others to do the same, especially my friends and loved ones.  

It is a worthy goal to assist someone to forgive.  It is wonderful to watch as someone is forgiven.  It is almost as much fun as when I forgive and am forgiven.  The length of our life is unknown and often is too short.  Life is too precious for me to be all bound up in an unforgiving attitude.

How about you?  Are you withholding forgiveness toward someone?  Will you continue to put off asking forgiveness for offenses you have made?

It does not matter who you are or what are the circumstances of your life.  Forgiveness is essential to your psychological and spiritual well being.  The sooner you forgive, the sooner you ask for forgiveness, the sooner you will begin to enjoy the peace and power of forgiveness.

Today I Begin My 2nd Year As A Survivor

It was one year ago today that I was told I have cancer.  At that time my personal knowledge of Esophageal Cancer was sketchy.  In fact, everyone I knew who had it had died of it quickly.  Soon, I found out my cancer was Stage 4a Squamous Cell Carcinoma.  Wow, that was encouraging news! (Not)

I was in radiation/chemo therapy within a couple of weeks and the therapy worked.  It killed my tumor.  I had surgery in January 2012 to remove most of the esophagus and after the surgery I was declared NED, No Evidence of Disease.

It has been a tough year.  But I want tell you there is life after a cancer diagnosis.  Good life.  Abundant life.  Life that is not taken for granted.  Life that is given one day at a time.  Days that come with special blessings. Blessings from which we can drink deeply.

I just realized that this is the beginning of my 2nd year as a survivor.  That's a great big blessing.  I think this is  one that I will drink from deeply.

In fact, please excuse me while I get a glass and some ice.  I'll post again soon, but for now I have some life to live.

The "Little" Things in Life

The "Little" Things in life are not little.  They are quite large and very important.  I don't know why we call them little.  It is probably our skewed perception.  It's skewed because we perceive the big things in life as being power, prestige, influence, and assets.

If you had all of that but could never receive the first smile of your grandson, would you be truly happy?  Is a baby's smile a little thing or a big thing?

This is Kramer.  He was our good friend for 14 years.   We loved him and he loved us unconditionally.  We had to say "goodbye" to him a couple of months before I was diagnosed with cancer.  During those 14 years I got countless kisses and infinite tail wags and I had a friend who was always glad to see me.  Let me ask you, is this a little thing or a big thing?  It's not big...  It's huge!

This is Boomer.  We rescued him on Thursday (07/12/12).  He  is a gift from God.  Honestly, he is.  I have been looking for a little guy like him for 6 months.  His mommy was not able to keep him and  wanted him in a good home.  She contacted RescueMe.org.  They contacted me.  And that is how God put us together.  He is healthy.  Well tempered.  1 1/2 yrs old.  And about 15 lbs, but after he is groomed I expect that to drop significantly.  

He has already given us joy and we are looking forward to a loving relationship with him.  So Boomer has brought us hope, hope in a tomorrow, hope in a loving God, hope that each and every day will bring a gift.  May God grant me the vision to recognize those gifts.

Some of you are battling cancer.  Do not lose hope.  Look to those little/large things in life to bring you joy and hope.  With us, each day is a gift.   Don't move out into the future with your own expectations of what the future will bring.  Instead, live in the present.  And look for each day to bring you  the gift of hope.

Those "Little" Things in Life are Street Lights sent to light our way through the darkness.

A Healing Place

Yesterday was July 4th.  Susan and I decided to carry our chairs down to a little beach here on the Northern Neck of Virginia.  This beach is all of 200 yards long, but it is special.  Sitting on this beach you look across the mouth of the Potomac River and can see directly into the Chesapeake Bay.  We've been here three years and this was the first time we set up the umbrella and chairs.

We expected the beach to be crowded, but there were just two other families there.  For the first hour it felt like we owned the place.  The sun was hot, but a breeze blowing off the water and our umbrella made for a more than comfortable afternoon.  Waves lapped the shore in a divinely set rhythm.  Shore birds called out to us.  Salt water aroma ministered to more than nose and palate as it assimilated into the spirit.

This was more than peaceful; it was Peace.

After a while, two families arrived.  Soon, there were a dozen children playing in the water.  Added to our Peace was the sound of kids having fun.  And it was good.

A mother came with her two daughters.  One girl was loving the water.  The other was timid.  In the end, Mom was playing with both girls in the cool water.

There was a little three year old.  Spider-man skiv-ees were his swim trunks.  He was loving the beach,  trying to do headstands in 6 inches of water and falling over laughing and blowing water every time.

One family brought their Yorkshire Terrier.  This 6 months old pup was running everywhere.  Greeting everyone.  Hopping in the water like a goat.  First, this way down the beach at full speed.  Next, that way down the beach.  In the water. In the sand.  Poor little thing looked like a drowned rat, but she was having fun.  We got the biggest kick out of watching her.

We arrived home after 3 hours at the beach.  I realized just how relaxed I was.  I was quietly smiling. Susan and I had been given a special peace.  And with that peace came healing for our ragged spirits.  The beach had become a healing place for us.

God has sent us another street light.

Advice to You Who Have A Loved One Battling Cancer

Hello!   It is good to see you.  We sincerely appreciate your interest in us and our fight against Esophageal Cancer.  Please consider leaving us a comment.  It is always good to hear from you and gives us an idea of who is following the blog.

Just to let you  know there have been  over 5,000 hits on the blog since we began it.  Thank you for following.

Many of you know that we stopped my post surgery chemotherapy because it was wreaking havoc with me.  It was designed to seek out and destroy any remaining unseen cancer cells.  You should know that I am back on chemo.  My oncologist wants me back on it.  I will stay on this therapy for the next three months until my next scheduled scans.  Then, we will reevaluate and go from there.

This particular regimen is easier than before.  Every two weeks I go in for infusion and come home with a pump for 46 hours.  Pump comes off until the next treatment.  I tolerated the first round well (except for the day the pump came off) and feel this is very doable.  My next treatment is July 10.

That is pretty much where my treatment is right now.  Fighting cancer is tough.  Sometimes the side effects of the treatment are rugged.  Other times the waiting can wreck you emotionally.  Every scan is a new chance to find the cancer has returned.  Most often there is a delay after a test before you learn the results.  While waiting, you think to yourself, "Is it back?  Am I still ok?"

Sometimes the thoughts are darker. "Can I really beat this thing?  Will my grandchildren remember me?  Has my life made any difference?"

Listen to me.  These darker thoughts come to everyone in this fight.  They do not stay permanently.  Instead, they creep up on us and yell "BOO" in the night.  We have to deal with them and Street Lights shine their special light and illuminate the lies and deceptions of the the dark thoughts.

We need time to process each new disclosure about our cancer.  The processing is not intellectual.  Instead, it is often highly emotional. Sometimes the process time is short.  Sometimes it takes longer.  If you love someone in a fight against cancer I have some advice for you.

There will be times when your loved one will not be giving you a lot of information.  This does not mean they have gone secretive about their condition.  It is simply a sign that they need some time to process something. Please do not press.  Honor your loved one's wishes.  Remain supportive.  Continue to pray for them.  And be a Street Light.  Your loving actions will shine a strong light against the Darkness.

The Street Lights Are for Everyone

In the midst of the darkness, God will shine a light that cannot be ignored.  Joh 1:5  The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. 


The story I am sharing this morning is not a Christian, preacher kind of illustration.  It is about a person who was in the middle of the DARK and saw a street light shining.  Although the letter is a pitch for a particular event, the story still inspires me.

My prayer is that somehow it will also lift you up.

God bless you.  Don't forget to comment, even if you do not like the post.  It's like getting an "Amen" during a sermon.  It lets me know someone is listening.

Look to the street lights.

John
****************

Dear John,
I ran my first Team LIVESTRONG event after I’d lost my left leg and left lung to cancer.

And to this day, every time I hit the pavement with Team LIVESTRONG and see the crowds of supporters and cancer survivors coming together to defy this disease, it puts a huge smile on my face.

These events are more than races. They’re something special and powerful. And you have the chance to lead one off the starting line next to Lance Armstrong.

And I mean literally next to Lance. You’ll be close enough for a fist bump.

Register for any Team LIVESTRONG event today, and you and a friend will get a chance to ride with Lance at the Austin Challenge:    LIVESTRONG.org/JoinTheTeam

If you register for any Team LIVESTRONG event today, you’ll automatically be entered for a chance to line up next to Lance in the biggest bike event LIVESTRONG’s ever organized, and Austin’s ever seen. And I can tell you from personal experience—an event of this scale can be life-changing.

Take my story. When my cancer recurred and they had to remove my lung, I only had a 10% chance of surviving. I couldn’t handle it, so I didn’t. I buried the pain and hid my illness from the world.

It took a decade for post-traumatic stress syndrome to catch up with me. But I found a life-raft in that darkness: running. It led me to a community of support and an inner drive I never knew I had.
I went from local 5Ks to Olympic triathlons with Team USA. Cancer may have ravaged my body, but running saved my life.

Every Team LIVESTRONG event has the power to awaken a cancer survivor’s fight like this. But the Austin Challenge will be unforgettable. And you have the chance to be there, side-by-side with Lance.
Sign up for a Team LIVESTRONG event near you to be automatically entered for your chance to ride with Lance.

Good luck!
   Amy Dodson
   Cancer Survivor
   Paratriathlon Olympian

Living on the Roller Coaster

This is not The Rebel Yell

In those days Kings Dominion was subtitled "Lion Country Safari".  Their wooden coaster, The Rebel Yell, was extremely popular, just like it is today.  We rode The Rebel Yell and saw a team of people who never got off the ride.  They stayed aboard and rode again, and again, and again.  This team was trying to set a world's record for continually riding a  roller coaster.

I thought to myself at the time, "I love roller coasters, but I would never like to live on one."

30 years or so later I find myself doing exactly that, and roller coaster life exacts a price.

I call it roller coaster life because in the 11 months since I was diagnosed I have had tremendous lows, followed by rapid highs, followed by high speed direction changes, and then more highs and lows.  This has been constant.

One doctor says, "You might have some bands that need stretching in the esophagus.  Let's get it checked out."

A few days later another doctor says, "John, you have cancer."

One doctor says, "You have pneumonia.  We will put you on antibiotics."

A few days later another doctor says, "This is not pneumonia.  You have a blood clot in your lung and it is life threatening."

After my Sunday morning run to the emergency room the Doctor said, "The blockage and blood in your esophagus was from your tumor.  It had died and was swelling up as it decayed.  But I was able to remove it and you are now slick as a whistle."

It was not long after that another doctor said, "It appears you have another lymph node affected.  If it is cancer we will not be able to proceed with the surgery."

A few days later still another doctor said, "The biopsy was negative.  The lymph node was not cancerous."

Do you begin to understand life on the roller coaster?

Now add to that the constant visits to doctors, the side effects of the chemo, the changes in my body, and having to re-learn something as simple as eating.  Before my cancer I had never had an operation; I still have my tonsils and appendix.  In the last 11 months I have had 4 or 5 surgeries.  (Yes, you can lose track.)  Every post-operative scan is another opportunity to find out my cancer has re-occurred.

Even when called a survivor, this kind of living will mess with your head.  Your emotions never have a chance to come to grips with the new reality.  It is uncomfortable and, to be honest, it hurts.

I am in a position to be an encouragement to others.  I have been given a special opportunity by God.  However, I often feel like I am unable to accomplish my mission.  I am not the only person in my situation to feel this way.  Writing of his desire to offer encouragement after his cancer treatments, Craig McConnell shares these thoughts.  "(It would be) Evidence that "I'm back… a contributor, a participant, a valued or needed/appreciated "producer". It would’ve been an honest and vulnerable inspiration, a vehicle for God to call His people to fuller consecration and deeper worship.

I can’t do it. It can’t be done. I’m fried.

It is hard being weak, limited… on the bench… non-productive, beached (or is it “Shipwrecked”?)."   By Craig McConnell from http://www.ransomedheart.com/blogs/craig/limitations

These are not uncommon reactions to cancer treatment.  Even cancer survivors can go through periods of depression.

My words today are for those in cancer treatment.  Your feelings are common.  Your own roller coaster life exacts a price.  Find someone to talk to and do not be afraid to seek out professional help.

My words today are for those who are close to someone in cancer treatment.  You may not totally understand all that is going on in their head, but you can now appreciate their struggle with their new reality.  Cut them a little slack.  Pray for them regularly.  Be a friend.

Today's post has been difficult to write.  It has called for an uncomfortable amount of openness.  I do not like being uncomfortable.  However, if people are to be helped and encouraged by my journey, I must be open and honest.  My prayer is that someone, somewhere will be helped in a small way by these words.

JRM

********

From www.livestrong.org   An article lists many changes to your life that can be difficult to accept.

Cancer can bring many changes to your life that can be difficult to accept such as the following:

• Changes in physical abilities
• Changes in appearance or body image
• Changes in self-esteem
• Fear of death
• Fear of your cancer coming back
• Interruption of future plans
• Financial problems
• Problems with relationships
• Fear of having to depend on others

*********

From www.livestrong.org an article lists reasons why some cancer survivors experience grief because of loss.

Physical losses:

• A body function
• Changes in the ability to have sex
• Lessened strength or energy
• An ability or skill to perform certain activities
• Physical comfort
• Fertility
• Bodily changes such as a scar or amputation

Emotional losses:

• Sense of security and predictability such as in health and in the future
• Sense of control or independence
• Self-esteem or sense of identity
• Self-confidence
• Body image
• Goals, hopes or dreams
• Faith or spirituality
• Habits, such as changes in daily routines, or life “the way it used to be”

Social and relationship losses:

• Relationships with friends, family members or co-workers
• Sexual relationships
• Ability to have own biological child
• Loss of certain roles such as providing for the family
• Loss of other cancer survivors

Financial losses:

• Career or job opportunities
• Financial security
• Insurance
• Ability to work

You Went Over Goal

Thank you for your prayers.  Thank you for your financial support.  Together we raised $625 toward our goal of $424.  May God bless each of you.
What follows is the text of my address to the Relay for Life participants during the opening ceremonies.
*********

Look at you! You came out. And I’m glad you did.

You came out in honor of a father, a sister, and a nephew.

You came out in honor of a granddad, an aunt, and a cousin.

You are here. You came out. And you deserve a hand. Give yourselves a round of applause.

We have come out today for a lot of different reasons. I have my reasons, too. On July 18, 2011 I was told I had cancer. The diagnosis was stage 4 esophageal cancer. That’s why I take this event personally. I came out to see if I could join with enough people that, together, we could make a difference.

We are here to remember loved ones who have passed on.

We are here to support someone in the middle of their fight against cancer.

We are here because we have cancer or we had cancer.

But if the truth be told, we are here because we want to make a difference.

Every dollar raised at this event brings us closer to the time when cancer will be eradicated.

Until that day, those dollars support cancer victims and cancer research and this benefits every person who has cancer.

I told you that I was diagnosed with stage 4 esophageal cancer. That was just 10 mos ago. I have been told that I am now cancer and symptom free. I am a survivor! SURVIVOR…Don’t you love that word?

I can only say that this is all because of God’s grace and the advances that have been made through cancer research. Research funded by this event and others like this one.

Today, we ARE making a difference, together.

Today, we take a stand against cancer, together.

Today, you came out. And I’m glad you did.

Thank you for being here.

Relay for Life Update

I have raised $315.00 for the Relay for Life toward the goal of $424.00. Won't you help the world's people experience more birthdays? Help me reach and exceed my goal. Thank you.


This year, over 1.4 million Americans will hear the words "You have cancer". On July 18, 2011 those words were spoken to me.  I was diagnosed with Stage 4 Esophageal Cancer.
I know too many people who are touched by cancer, and that is why I have joined the American Cancer Society on a mission to save lives and create a world with more birthdays by participating in the Relay For Life in my community.

At Relay For Life we celebrate loved ones who have won their battle against cancer, remember those who are no longer with us, and fight back against this disease that touches so many. I am determined to make a difference, and I hope you will join me. I have been asked to speak at the opening ceremony at 10:00am and I will be walking the Survivor Lap on May 12, 2012 at Northumberland High School at 10:30am.

Please, support me in my efforts by using the link below to visit my personal web page and make a donation. Every dollar raised brings us one dollar closer to a cure, and to a time when the number of people who have to hear the words "you have cancer" is zero.

Thank you so much for your support. Together, we ARE saving lives and creating a world with more birthdays!

My Personal Page URL is   
http://main.acsevents.org/site/TRpx=27895488&pg=personal&fr_id=40950   
(If the link does not work copy and paste the above line to the address bar on your browser.)
You can make online donations there.  Relay folks are asking each participant to raise $212.00.  Susan and I are both participants, thus my $424.00 goal.  From  my page you can also purchase a Luminary to honor a loved one.  The Luminary Ceremony will be at 8:30pm.  Should you prefer to write a check, make the check payable to 2012 Relay For Life of Lancaster, VA and give the check to me  or     from my page above, you can also download a personal donation form and mail in the donation.
Please carefully and prayerfully consider making a donation in any amount.  If you are unable to make a donation at this time, we certainly understand.  If that is the case, please cover Susan and me with your prayers as we attempt to make a difference against cancer.
May God richly bless you.
John and Susan Minter

A Bucket List Item

A while back I posted a bucket list on which an item was to do what I can to help the fight against cancer.  On May 12 I begin fulfilling that goal.



This year, over 1.4 million Americans will hear the words "You have cancer". On July 18, 2011 those words were spoken to me.  I was diagnosed with Stage 4 Esophageal Cancer.



I know too many people who are touched by cancer, and that is why I have joined the American Cancer Society on a mission to save lives and create a world with more birthdays by participating in the Relay For Life in my community.


At Relay For Life we celebrate loved ones who have won their battle against cancer, remember those who are no longer with us, and fight back against this disease that touches so many. I am determined to make a difference, and I hope you will join me. I have been asked to speak at the opening ceremony at 10:00am and I will be walking the Survivor Lap on May 12, 2012 at Northumberland High School at 10:30am.


Please, support me in my efforts by using the link below to visit my personal web page and make a donation. Every dollar raised brings us one dollar closer to a cure, and to a time when the number of people who have to hear the words "you have cancer" is zero.


Thank you so much for your support. Together, we ARE saving lives and creating a world with more birthdays!



My Personal Page URL is  

http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR?px=27895488&pg=personal&fr_id=40950  



(If the link does not work copy and paste the above line to the address bar on your browser.)



You can make online donations there.  Relay folks are asking each participant to raise $212.00.  Susan and I are both participants, thus my $424.00 goal.  From  my page you can also purchase a Luminary to honor a loved one.  The Luminary Ceremony will be at 8:30pm.  Should you prefer to write a check, make the check payable to 2012 Relay For Life of Lancaster, VA and give the check to me  or     from my page above, you can also download a personal donation form and mail in the donation.



This will be the only solicitation for donations that I will send, so please carefully and prayerfully consider making a donation in any amount.  If you are unable to make a donation at this time, we certainly understand.  If that is the case, please cover Susan and me with your prayers as we attempt to make a difference against cancer.



May God richly bless you.

John and Susan Minter

Sparrows

I apologize to those who were reading these posts.  I have not been keeping them up. The surgery took a lot more  out of me than tissue.  I don't know if I have been depressed, but I certainly have not been up to snuff.  But while I have been short of wind and lacking in strength, my Jesus has not lost sight of me.  He has been well aware of what is going on and has been active at making me stronger.

Three rounds of preventative chemo are between me and my completed treatment.  The oncologist wants me stronger before finishing up.  I have an appointment this Monday to begin.  We'll see how it turns out.

I am back in the pulpit now.  I'm sharing on how God is constantly asking us to come to Him.  I am amazed that He would want me, but I'm glad He does.  He doesn't ignore me or forget about me.  He actually has a plan for me and has promised me a great deal of joy if I heartily embrace His plan. So I go to God at His request.  How great is that!

I may have dropped out of sight for a while, but God has always known where I was and what I was going through.  He still cares for me and that means everything.

Jesus taught, "Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father's care. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows."

Pre-Valentine Post

I had not planned on posting to the blog this afternoon.  But it has been almost 2 weeks and I want you to know what is going on.

The operation removed my gallbladder as well as my esophagus.  I'm dealing with my body adjusting to that.  My appetite is not wonderful but is getting better.  I am getting the 6 small meals a day recommended by my surgeon.  My blood numbers are acceptable and there are no current plans to put me back on the feeding tube.

It is difficult to watch Susan leave for church on Sunday's without me.  I want to see the people.  I want to be in the pulpit.  But this is not going to happen right now.  Now is my time to be resting in God's arms and to receive ministry.  The day is coming when I will be back giving ministry and sharing Jesus.  But for now, Jesus is filling me up.

How can you pray?
1.  My appetite and strength
2.  Susan's continued strength and patience.  She is my support.
3.  God's presence in our lives

Discomfort

Its terribly uncomfortable.  I'm sitting here trying to find a way to sit comfortably, stand comfortably, and sleep comfortably.  I turned on the show Wipe Out.  Somehow I feel less uncomfortable.

No wisdom left.  I must wait and heal before the wisdom returns.  But I am sure of God's love and your prayers.

Those of you who are local ... it's ok to visit.  Just call ahead.

Oh, before I forget...   The Doc says I am cancer free. Officially a survivor!

Can you praise the Lord for me?

Happy Dance

Susan has a friend of many years  who has found God's gift of celebration.  When dreadful things happen she waits for God to answer and does the "Happy Dance"...:.Let's celebrate!!  I am a 10 day cancer survivor!!  I know it's true because the Dr. told me!!

In a few weeks I will be back to work.  I will  be able to walk the survivor's walk and I will be looking for sponsors.

Now is when I begin to help other cancer survivors.  It has been two weeks. My mind is still jumbled up.  It is very difficult to come up with a coherrant thought.  However, I will maintain my committment to this blog and to the people to whom it ministers.

Continue to pray for Susan and me as we move into our next phase of cancer care and minstry.

Thursday, January 19, 2012        Surgery Day

How John is doing....

First I have to say John is the writer in the family, not me.  However, I did promise him I would let everyone know how today went.
The alarm clock was suppose to go off at 3:00am.  I woke up at 3:45.  That shouldn't be a problem but we were leaving at 4:00am.
John went into surgery at 9:00 am.  The great nurses at RRMC gave us hourly up dates on John.  All were good news.  By 6:00pm we thought surgery was finishing, but 2 hours later we were still waiting.  When nurse came in and told us all was well and to head up to ICU of course we waited some more.
When Dr. Peyser came to speak to us he was all smiles and assured us all was well.  Pathology report was good and all organs were clear.  We were allowed to go in and see him, of course he was sleeping, gave him the good news anyway.  Maybe somewhere in his sleep he heard.
Thanks to friends and family who came by, called or t-mailed, you made this day go by much faster.
Through all this today, I realized how God has used this journey to change and grow me.  Thank you for taking me by the hand and never letting go....

Susan

Reflections Before Surgery

It's Tuesday night, the last time I get a solid meal for a while.  I don't know how long it will be until I have healed enough to eat solid food.  I took Susan out to dinner and ran into family and friends.  'Twas a special evening.  This afternoon I had lunch with some good friends.  This morning I had breakfast at home.  It has been a great day.

I'm not too anxious about the surgery.  Its the recovery time that has me wondering how I'll do.  God has shined a lot of light on me and after surgery my desire is to reflect His light toward some other folks;  folks that could use a light on their own dark pathways.  God has guided me safely thus far.  It's only right that I reflect back his glory.

The next few posts will be from my family.  They will post my progress until I am able to post for myself.

In the meantime, remember I love you and know that my love is but a dim reflection of God's love for you.

I catch you on the flip side, Good Buddy!  Keep looking to the light.

Date for Surgery

My surgery will happen January 19, 2012.

For my cancer, everything up to and including surgery is treatment.  After the surgery, I plan on being a Survivor with a Plan.  I will look and feel like I have been to war.  But I will be a one day survivor.  A two day survivor.  A one month, and a 6 month survivor.  etc, etc, et Ceteri    My Plan is to focus on the et Ceteri.

I'll see my new grandson, Ian Ray Aloyisus Gliebe towards the end of May.  (His parents have not yet made a final decision about his name.  But how could they not like this one?)
I'll hear some more professions of faith and get to baptize a few more people.
I'll see more lives changed, including my own.
I'll see my son walk with his graduating class.
I will praise God that He allowed me to see all this.

We need plans, something to look forward to.  Treatment for cancer is rough and tough.  Surviving the cancer becomes our primary focus.  Once we are survivors post operative plans carry us into health.  Focus on these plans.  They are our et Ceteri.  They will fill our lives with joy and focus after our disease is gone.

As we focus on the et Ceteri, they will become Street Lights shining on the pathway before us.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow
Praise Him all creatures here below
Praise Him above, ye heavenly host
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.    Amen


(You get extra points if you sing this out loud.)

Now you can shout "Hip. Hip. Hooray!"

Yesterday I received the official pathology report on the samples taken last Friday.  All was benign.  NO CANCER!

Now you can shout "Hip.  Hip.  Hooray!"    I am cancer free.

I am meeting with the two surgeons next week.  We will set a surgery date.  The surgery will be soon.

Why surgery?  The esophagus is to be removed to prevent the cancer from returning.  No guarantees but surgery is the protocol for my cancer.  I'l be off my feet and out of it for a while.  Your prayers will bring a special kind of healing.

Please pray for Susan.  We do not live in Hampton Roads.  She will have to travel a lot from the Northern Neck to Newport News.  She'll also have to bunk with relatives for a while.  My hospital stay is expected to be 10 days to 2 weeks.  My oncologist must be hopeful.  He has already scheduled a office visit 3 weeks after surgery.

The surgery is important.  It is the final step in treatment and diagnosis.  After surgery I will be a 1 day cancer survivor, a 1 month cancer survivor, a 1 year cancer survivor, etc.  I am looking forward to a lot of et cetera's   et ceteri.