Advice to You Who Have A Loved One Battling Cancer

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Many of you know that we stopped my post surgery chemotherapy because it was wreaking havoc with me.  It was designed to seek out and destroy any remaining unseen cancer cells.  You should know that I am back on chemo.  My oncologist wants me back on it.  I will stay on this therapy for the next three months until my next scheduled scans.  Then, we will reevaluate and go from there.

This particular regimen is easier than before.  Every two weeks I go in for infusion and come home with a pump for 46 hours.  Pump comes off until the next treatment.  I tolerated the first round well (except for the day the pump came off) and feel this is very doable.  My next treatment is July 10.

That is pretty much where my treatment is right now.  Fighting cancer is tough.  Sometimes the side effects of the treatment are rugged.  Other times the waiting can wreck you emotionally.  Every scan is a new chance to find the cancer has returned.  Most often there is a delay after a test before you learn the results.  While waiting, you think to yourself, "Is it back?  Am I still ok?"

Sometimes the thoughts are darker. "Can I really beat this thing?  Will my grandchildren remember me?  Has my life made any difference?"

Listen to me.  These darker thoughts come to everyone in this fight.  They do not stay permanently.  Instead, they creep up on us and yell "BOO" in the night.  We have to deal with them and Street Lights shine their special light and illuminate the lies and deceptions of the the dark thoughts.

We need time to process each new disclosure about our cancer.  The processing is not intellectual.  Instead, it is often highly emotional. Sometimes the process time is short.  Sometimes it takes longer.  If you love someone in a fight against cancer I have some advice for you.

There will be times when your loved one will not be giving you a lot of information.  This does not mean they have gone secretive about their condition.  It is simply a sign that they need some time to process something. Please do not press.  Honor your loved one's wishes.  Remain supportive.  Continue to pray for them.  And be a Street Light.  Your loving actions will shine a strong light against the Darkness.